Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Guide to PMS

Photo by mszigzag.

I’m speaking from experience when I say: PMS affects everyone. Those PMS jokes might be funny but seriously folks, I used to have such bad PMS episodes that I was sometimes unable to function. And let me tell you, the people around me suffered too!

Here’s how I experience PMS: First thing in the morning I open my eyes and force myself out of bed. Sometimes I end up not getting up at all and I miss out on my 8am class. I don’t feel like leaving my room, not because PMS makes me feel lazy, but because it makes me feel useless. I get tired easily, get migraines and feel fragile. My breasts feel tender, my abdomen cramps and, for lack of a better description, I feel like a pig.

Premenstrual water retention due to the female hormone estrogen can also make me feel bloated and ugly. Husbands and boyfriends, this is the perfect time to tell a little white lie and say:

“No, honey, you’re not fat. You just feel fat, but it doesn’t mean you’re fat, because you’re not.”

It really is a white lie. Out of the 40 million reported sufferers of PMS, the majority have declared a premenstrual weight gain of up to 5 pounds. Yikes.

So, for women and the men who love them, here are my top five tips on how to cope with PMS:

• Ladies, know your calendar. Keep a calendar and mark two weeks prior your next period as ‘red alert’ weeks: this is when most women experience PMS. The peak with will be in the last few days, before your period starts. Of course, it varies from person to person. Get familiar with your own pattern, because just like watching the weather news, it helps when you know what’s coming. Men, I’m sure you’ll find this trick useful too. Don’t be afraid to study your partner’s calendar.

• Avoid foods that are high in simple sugar. Focus on munchies with complex carbohydrates like oatmeal, brown rice, whole wheat bread, yogurt, apples, and spinach. This will help you keep your focus and manage your blood glucose level. Goodbye sugar highs and crashes.

• Stay active. Get into energetic activities like brisk walking, power yoga, or playing with your kids. Exercise is a natural mood lifter and endorphins are a PMS-ing girl’s best friends: they’ll lift your spirits and act as a natural pain killer.

• Gentlemen, make love, not war. Most PMS-ing women experience loss of sexual desire due to the drop of the sex hormones, progesterone. This is the perfect time to give some TLC to your seemingly distant partners. Don’t be fooled: we still want sex! It’s just that during these times, arousal isn’t as automatic. Women, be open to your partners because sex is a great pick-me-up and can go a long way in treating irritability and depression.

• Don’t be an island. I know it’s easier said than done because you’d rather be left alone during these dreadful PMS moments, but it’s important to stick around friends and family who can help refocus your attention to happier thoughts. This is a great way to distract yourself. Socialize, have fun, and don’t lock yourself up in your bedroom. Soon enough, you’ll realize that PMS doesn’t have to be crippling after all.

Karla Mercado lives in New Mexico and is the author of Balancing Tenderfoot. She is passionate about human medicine, nutrition, and writing.